Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Welcome, you filthy peons!

Greetings soon-to-be subjects on this realm you call Earth!

I am Asmodeus Acerack, Dread Lich and convener with the dark powers, come to this place from another space, a world that one would only think exists in tales of wild fantasy, using a dread ritual that involves 13 dead unicorns, the still-beating heart of a hero, the hair of a fair maiden and a very angry bear!

I plan to conquer this place, and rule it with an skeletal fist of necromantic iron. Well, at least when I get another portal for my army that is! I can't believe that the portal only let twenty people in! The demon who sold it to me said that it would let in at least a hundred. God-damned demons and their tourettes-like compulsion to betray... Where was I?

O the skies will shake under my magics the likes of which your world has never seen! I know well the secrets that lie beneath, while your world hasn't the faintest inkling of it's dark powers. I have observed your world well through my scrying on your internets (Dear Slaanesh, you people are perverts!), and I am turning my hoard of gold into the currency of this land through a convenient cash-for-gold service (In fact, I'm writing this in their lobby)! As soon as I get myself established, I will take your modern conveniences and combining them with my black sourcery I will conquer this world, or at least a state, preferably Nevada.

The reason I am making this blog, peons, is that I want a history to be kept of the timeline of my world conquest, and what a better way to do it than the humble blog you people seem to be so fond of. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I heard them say that they have my cash on the intercom, so I will post more of my glorious travails later.

No comments:

Post a Comment