Yes my filthy peons, I have finally found my disguise, my new name, my new face by which I shall rule this puny world under my eventual neon throne!
It all started when I was at the Swap Meet this Saturday. I was worried about where I was going to find this new identity, and thought that taking a walk in the fresh air at the Swap Meet would be good for me as well as giving me a break from making my bag-o-magic that I will use to convince those hooligans to join my cause. Unfortunately, it did not do me any good, what with the paucity of goods that night, the horrible stench of man-sweat permeating the air, and the terrible salsa music blaring from the speaker of almost every car (For the record, I bought a CD of the worst of it to use as a torture device). And then, I saw it. The find of a lifetime, at some rinky-dink little booth selling Jesus pictures and tiny crucifixes, which I carefully avoided touching. There was a selection of masks, made for what I think you call "Lucha Libre", and as I walked across the dusty aisle, I saw it.
The mask was a positively evil looking thing, of far superior quality to the other masks. The shape of the pattern on the front, the horrible eyes, the twisted colors of red, orange and black, all of a devilish, yet regal cast. It was as if some dark god had placed this in front of me as an omen for success in my pursuit of conquest. I asked the woman where it came from, she said it just came in the box with the other masks, with a small note written inside. I looked upon the note and it said "El Demonio Rey". I bought it on the spot, knowing that this would be the ticket to my destiny.
I bought myself a leather jacket, blue jeans, and black boots to complete this new identity of mine. For, I will not begin my campaign of conquest under the name Asmodeus Acerak, but instead under the name EL DEMONIO REY, THE DEMON KING! And soon, all of you will know it well, as the first step on my campaign of conquest.
Oh, and by the way, Happy Halloween. Goodnight!