Saturday, October 30, 2010

Getting down to brass tacks.

Peons! As of now, I have realized something. I have been doing about fuck-all as of late to advance my plans for world domination. Like many grand revelations, this came to me when I was slightly drunk. Oaky, very drunk. Okay, five bottles of Captain Morgan drunk. My plans were to conquer this world, to trample it under my hob-nailed boot and unite it under my iron chains of rule, but as of late all I have been doing is watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 on YouTube. This is unforgivable!

But now, I have found the people who will be the first stepping stone of my plan for WORLD DOMINATION! You see, there is a gang in this town, that goes by the name Los Manos de Suerte. They are, quite frankly, the most unsuccessful gang I have ever seen, even compared to the ones of Willy the Questionable in my world. They are so pathetic that the police won't even try to follow them due to their incompetent. They appear of strong body and an intellect that is... tolerable, just held back by bad luck and inane leadership. I have seen them on one of your local news programs. Seems the leader had a bit of an accident involving a gun and tight pants, and now the stupid gang is leaderless. Scrying (You don't even want to know how I got that bit of hair to do that) revealed that they are meeting in an abandoned house by Broadway on Monday.

Now, it has been shown on this blog, that my fighting forces are not quite as up to snuff as I would prefer them to be (I will never forgive the goblins for that incident with the car). Not only that, but there are far fewer of them than I like, and the upper echelons I have brought with me (Along with that Golem) cannot make up for that fact (Not to mention that the Ur-Elemental's still stuck in his room, god knows what he's doing there). And so, these gang members, numbering in about thirty, could be the perfect way to bolster my forces until I can make the spell to summon reinforcements! With them as my army and I as its master, we shall raze the cities and burn the fields, an army to break the world in tow, Los Manos De Suerte and...

Crap. I have just realized that I have yet to come up with an identity to throw the cops off my trail. And the meeting with them is in two days! God damn am I in trouble! I'm just going to have to worry it over as I drift down to sleep.

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