Thursday, November 25, 2010

This day you call "Thanksgiving"...

Well, apparently this is a holiday in your world. I really had no idea it was coming up, I assumed that the imagery of religious pilgrims and turkeys in your grocery stores was to prepare your people for the ritual slaughter of turkeys. Apparently, from what I have seen on your television it involves football, hedonistic gluttony and genocide of indigenous peoples. Sounds just like the Drow's yearly "Koboldball" game. Dear sweet Jesus they had good unspecified-meat-pie. Such a shame then that I BLEW IT UP WITH MY HORDE OF GOBORCS HA HA HA!


I don't have to apologize to you. And besides, they were cutting their meat-pies with ankheg and dwarf baby. So, I prepared a feast with my ill-gotten downtown money and a bit of magic to prepare it. And no, I did not use a "Summon Food and Drink" spell. Everything that spell makes always tastes like cardboard coated sawdust, EUGH. And so, out of a whim, I have decided to compile a list of my thanks today. Because I feel like it that's why. So, here they are:

* I am thankful that I am not dead from the thousands and thousands of heroes sent to murder me.
* I am thankful that we were able to safely evacuate the house when the Ur-Elemental poured that tank of Mr. Clean upon that tank of Clorox to make a Chlorine elemental.
* I am thankful that the cops are too concerned with the Mexicans fleeing economic destitution to our shore than by my blatant hostile takeover of a major chunk of the city.
* I am thankful that was able to install several "Wands of Magic Missile" and "Wands of Binding Chains" under the hood of my car
* I am also thankful that the materials to make said wands are surprisingly easy to get at any local Party City.
* I am thankful that the Trogre did not eat any of my men.
* I am thankful that the dump sells toxic waste barrels in bulk with little-to-no-questions asked.
* I am thankful that the Sorceress is here to beat my henchmen with a stick when they get out of line, and to cover up the holes in my plans.
* I am thankful to all the readers of my blog, yes all ONE of you.
* And Finally, I am thankful for hot wings. Orcus-damn these things are good.

Well, that's all for tonight my filthy peons! See you at a hopefully not-too-delayed date!

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