But that's not what we're here to talk about today. Were' here to talk about wicked Gods, and my experiences thereof. Now, I am not much of a theist, given that I can't step within fifty feet of a church without bursting into flame, but I have found that the wickeder gods are useful for allying with. So, here are my experiences with the darker gods. As you'll notice, my gods bear a striking similarity to the gods of your roleplaying games. I really don't understand how that came to be, but it's easy for reference.
Lolth- Working with Lolth's followers is like screaming to the heavens "HEY! I AM AN IDIOT WHO DESERVES TO BE LYING DEAD WITH A KNIFE IN MY BACK IN SOME GOD FORSAKEN CORNER OF THE UNDERDARK!" Plus, I hate spiders. Next!
Zehir. Same as with Lolth, except with the addendum of Number 34 of the Evil Overlord List "I will not turn into a snake. It never helps".
Nerull- YES, WE GET IT, LIFE IS AN ABOMINATION THAT SHOULD BE ERASED FROM EXISTENCE! NOW SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!
Khorne- What I like about his followers is that they are very, very easy to manipulate. You just scream "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" and they kill whatever you want them too. Sadly, I had to leave them be (And by that I mean run screaming away) when they discovered that I used magic and decided that my head would look very fetching on their master's skull throne
Slaanesh- THOSE SEX STAINS WILL NEVER COME OUT OF MY CARPET! Pass on worshipping her/him/it.
Tzeench- The trouble with him is that he and his followers are always scheming. which is admirable when you're planning a scheme with him but not so much when you're chatting with a cultist. One minute you're sipping on a cup of tea with them ,the next you wake up in a cauldron of ice with a kidney missing. Joke's on them, as I don't even have a kidney anymore. Although, they are a good way to get rid of minions you hate and make yourself a new regimen of horrible-blob-things all at once.
Nurgle- Doesn't count, too "touchy-feely" for my taste. And plus, what he sees as "glorious gifts of plague and rot", I see as "potential for having one's own side start crapping out their own intestines"
That's all I can come up with now. Maybe I'll speak of some more later, especially Tiamat. Dear god, the stories I have to tell about her. Right now I'm hearing the sorceress talking about something phone-wise with my gang. And whatever it is, it sounds very ominous.