Friday, July 1, 2011

This Cannot End Well

It has come to my attention that there is a firework shop that has recently set up across the way from my house. Apparently this is due to a holiday you call Independence Day, where you celebrate when some rich, white, male slaveowners rebelled against rich, white, male imperialists so that other rich, white, male slaveowners could vote for their choice of rich, white, male slaveowner to keep the rabble down. Yes I am a cynic, why do you ask?

But anyway, the reason why I mention this is that apparently the Ur-Elemental has been saving up his household allowance to buy out almost half the damn shop. When I asked him why, he just said "Because a bulldozer is too expensive". I thank fucking Asmodeus for this, as the though of one of your bulldozers infused with the powers of elemental earth (Which I KNOW he'd do) would be too destructive to contemplate. And not in the good way.

For now, I let him experiment with them using a portable bunker (technically just a Large Bag Of Holding lying in a hole in the ground, but don't tell him that). I have no idea what he's working on, and I really don't want to know. I just hope the results of this "project" doesn't end up burning everything down. Again.

On the Infuriating side of things, on reader suggestion suggestion I tried to get back at Santo Christo by poisoning the orphanage's food with mild halucinogenics and Carnibuncle meat to ruin his reputation. The minions still haven't woke up from their sound thrashing by that bastard. Apparently he's not just an oh-so-perfect saint, he also moonlights as a Luchador. God I hate that man.

No, Santo Christo or the police have not been able to stop me from taking my collection money from Downtown. That's what the Golem's there to stop. Pity it's so busy doing that and that alone. And the fact that I keep having to duct-tape the damn thing back together DOES NOT HELP!

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