Monday, July 25, 2011

Hello from the Sorceress

Yes my dears, old A.A. isn't going to be posting today. Seems that Christo wasn't quite dead as A.A. found out when he was burnt to a crisp. While he can regenerate right here and not in our home plane thanks to a complicated series of spells (One of which I invented, a fact which I will never let him forget) that let him do just that, it isn't... quite perfect**. Specifically, it resurrects him feet first, rather than head first as usual. This is way more significant than you'd think, given that there's more governing one can do as a severed head than a severed foot***

So, I had to spend several days searching for his grand "Don't Give Up Hope" villain-speech, which I eventually found in the shapeshifter's "Fun Drawer" (For the love of the God's, DON'T ASK!). Let me tell you, it was a shitstorm in that time, chaos reigning across the blocks, the shapeshifter robbing liquor stores in the shape of a giant penis (Don't ask what he shot them with if he refused), Christo getting some of our best human minions sent to the clink, the Trogre hurling statues all the way across town in tears.

The bribes to make everyone "just forget it" put a massive dent in our money stockpile, the Shapeshifter is still stewing it out in the "Pit O' Melty Halloween Decorations Blob" and the use of Giants Growth on a bunny helped the Trogre. Those minions are still in prison though, and Christo's still out there.  I actually think he got a hand on one of his spellbooks, which is a sign to watch out for.

But it's still amazing how well we managed to snap back. Nobody died****, which just goes to show the power of that villain speech, and everyone was surprisingly willing to ignore us. You people on Earth are either really stupid, really oblivious, or really jaded. Probably a combination of all three. And I do think that that Christo picked up A.A.'s Book of Vile Darkness. And, while A.A. isn't gonna be happy with this, there's no way he's gonna actually use the damn thing. At least I hope.

Well, this was a rather dull recap. Maybe tomorrow I'll give you a bit more of the juicy details about the speech and tell you a bit more about myself, seeing as A.A. refuses to do either.  Not like he's gonna object to it, given he's currently a pair of shinbones and feet. Adieu!

* One of which I invented, a fact which I will never let him forget
**Thanks to me not working out the kinks in that spell when I first made it, a fact which he will never let me forget)
*** Plus, as I discovered with a former employer, a regenerating lich also works great as a phony demilich!
**** Though the Drow got winged in the leg a bit. He's trying to convince me to turn it into a spider leg. Eugh.


  1. ps can you use giants growth on the dog? demilich vs lich pros cons thank you.