Sunday, December 12, 2010

SCREAMING MOUNDS OF FUCKSMACK I'M IN TROUBLE!

Yes, well, the law of Murphy has just made me its bitch. You know that matter I was called away for on that last post? Well, it has hit the fan. Apparently two of the gang members got caught while trying to collect, and wouldn't you know it, they took the Hoop of Mordenakiden's Magnificent Mansion and put it in the evidence file. This is bad. I always could make another one, but what would happen if they found out how to use it?! Or, worse yet, they break it. It's a little know fact that the enchantment for making said hoop has a clause that, when the hoop is broken, the mansion manifests in the real world. All fifty thousand tons of it. Either way, it would be like giving a monkey a crossbow, which is always amusing UNTIL YOU ARE RIGHT IN THE LINE OF FIRE! And what if they connect the dots and find out that El Demonio Rey; the scary; ranting skeleton man in a luchador mask, is actually Asmodeus Acerak; the scary; ranting skeleton man in a crown and robe?! It would be chaos I tell you, CHAOS!

So, for these last few days, I've been searching for the Shapeshifter. And for the amount of times he is in my hair, I could not for the life of me find him. I looked everywhere, even using Locate Person (Although all that did was give me an image of a hand extending one finger, I think you can guess which). And you know where it is that I found him? MY FUCKING BATHROOM! The one place I never use, and he's there. And don't think this was an accident, he specifically did this just to piss me off. It was around the point he said "You should have seen the look on your face" that things began to get a bit hazy. Needless to say he is currently a very sore array of parts on the floor slowly struggling to reform.

So, now I have decided "You know what, fuck it. Just fuck it", and sent the Trogre out to get it. Nobody  outside the house knows he exists, and for the most part he keeps to himself and his little rabbit farm. Besides, having a three-ton monster come to retrieve your crap is a great way to strike fear into the hearts of mortal men! Well that, or set yourself up for massive disappointment as he catches a raging attack of stupid. And I think I hear another knock at the door. I presume this means that either the Ur-Elemental's "tinkering" has bothered the neighbors yet-again, or one of the gang members just became a member of the Sorceress' "target practice". Until then, adieu my filthy peons.

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